The Shit Your GF Says or Does
Advanced Search
Bookmark and Share

Home

|

Keep Her Stories

|

Dump Her Stories

|

Random Stories

|

Submit A Story

|

Moderate

|

ShitMyBFSays.com

Submit Your Story


Your Nickname :
Categories :
Gender? :
Upload Picture:
Email notification ?

Random Stories

Sort: All Time | Today Only | This Week | This Month | This Year

"I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good."

#79
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (33) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Jack (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

After I make it rain at a strip club, my drunk gf says: "Giving the strippers money is like feeding the animals at the zoo."

#239
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (44) - Dump Her Ass! (12)

Nov 26, 2011 06:13 AM - Money - by Say Whaaaa (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

Did you ever realize the word 'dome' says 'do me'?

#86
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (31) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Misc - by Clay (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

My girlfriend and I went to a Renaissance Fair, and she talked me into wearing a kilt. While we were browsing a shop, some old woman asked what I was wearing underneath it. Without missing a beat, my girlfriend replied “My lipstick.” The old woman turned bright red.

#213
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (111) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Sex - by lmao234 (man)

Sign Up for More!

 


You Will Love Me! Roses Are Red, Bullets Are Lead. Take Me Back Now, Or Get Shot In The Head! LMAOO

#107
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (21) - Dump Her Ass! (13)

Feb 18, 2011 09:05 AM - Breakups - by Allen Analian (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

After thirty minutes of sex my GF says: "Ya know, if it gets too wet there, you can always put it in my butt!"

#274
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (132) - Dump Her Ass! (13)

Dec 29, 2011 01:03 AM - Sex - by Mannzutier (woman)

Sign Up for More!

 

On her seeming lack of enthusiasm while she prepared coffee in the nude: "You get enthusiasm, or you get boobs. You don't get both."

#225
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (57) - Dump Her Ass! (9)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Sam (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

"I just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples...I don't know how they got there."

#76
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (32) - Dump Her Ass! (7)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Mel (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

I saw two teenagers stopped at a green light at a major road, honking at and flipping off an old man crossing slowly. As a result, the old man dropped his pants and mooned the youngsters. Classic!

#209
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (23) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Sex - by Moonies (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

In hind sight, maybe you telling the registration nurse she was a "sexy little hooker" wasn't the best way to get you in back to get your stitches any quicker.

#90
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (9) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

Jan 30, 2011 03:28 AM - Health - by Chris (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

I was at a friend's house the other day, and he comes rushing up to his room stating "Justin Bieber got charged with assault!" I feel bad for the kid who has to go home and tell his Dad he got beat up by Justin Bieber.

#97
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (27) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Jan 30, 2011 05:32 AM - Misc - by Marcus (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

Part 02:
SMS3: You have to call right now or you will pay for it!!!
SMS4: Son of a B**ch, where the hell are you???

#216
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (4) - Dump Her Ass! (38)

Sep 10, 2011 04:57 PM - Love - by MR. Garcia (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

Just got this text from my gf. "I farted earlier and Sargent (her co-worker) was like omg what's that smell and kept sniffing. I was like yeah ew what is that?

#280
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (26) - Dump Her Ass! (8)

Feb 14, 2012 01:18 AM - Work - by timbo (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

“I love being able to call you mine. I’m going to take care of you. All the Tomagatchis I killed were just to prepare me for keeping you alive, safe, and happy.”

#218
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (68) - Dump Her Ass! (8)

Sep 22, 2011 11:48 PM - Love - by Brian (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

On leaving me alone for a few weeks: “Ok here's where I put the laundry detergent and bleach. In case you, like, murder a hooker in bed or something.”

#227
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (91) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Mark (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

Part 1:
According to one of my friends,
I went to the swimming pool last night ... After the pool, I checked my mobile in the locker room and I had 4 missed calls and 6 text messages from my GF:
SMS1: Honey, why don't you answer my calls???
SMS2: It seems you're busy even for texting!!!
.
.
.

#217
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (5) - Dump Her Ass! (40)

Sep 10, 2011 04:58 PM - Love - by MR. Garcia (man)

Sign Up for More!

 


I saw this online and thought of you!

#91
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (36) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 03:45 AM - Sports - by Mark (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

"I can't fall in love with someone until I know they're good at boning. It's a relationship, not an apprenticeship."

#223
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (52) - Dump Her Ass! (15)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Love - by Mike (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

“It’s like one of those things that you smell, so you think you taste it. Like poop. Or play dough. That happens all the time! Actually, I think when I was a kid, I ate play dough.”

#221
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (16) - Dump Her Ass! (11)

Sep 22, 2011 11:48 PM - Misc - by James (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

Texting :

Girl : Hi honey :-*
Boy : Hi my love [Sending failed]

Girl : Honeeeeey ?
Boy : What happend ? I'm here [Sending failed]

Girl : Are you ignoring me ?
Boy : No honey , I'm answering you . [Sending failed]

Girl : Relationship's Over , Bye!!!
Boy : Fuck You , Go to hell !!! [Message Sent]

#229
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (14) - Dump Her Ass! (50)

Oct 22, 5365 01:18 PM - Breakups - by MR. Garcia (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

Your Account
Username: Password:  Remember Me
Sign Up - Forgot?

Connect
Entertane