The Shit Your GF Says or Does
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"Reminds me of last night. Do you remember? It looks so dirty when I see others doing it. lol"

#93
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She's A Keeper! (26) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

Jan 29, 2011 11:11 PM - Sex - by Phil (man)

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"Camping in the ghetto is the equivalent to living in Uganda."

#222
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Sep 22, 2011 06:50 PM - Misc - by David (man)

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"Don't you think this would be the perfect store for you to work at? It's what you do naturally."

#100
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Jan 29, 2011 11:50 PM - Money - by Hank (man)

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Part 02:
SMS3: You have to call right now or you will pay for it!!!
SMS4: Son of a B**ch, where the hell are you???

#216
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Sep 10, 2011 11:57 AM - Love - by MR. Garcia (man)

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On a foreigner we know who is traveling through Australia: “She is gonna back up on so much random dick it's incredible.”

#226
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Sep 22, 2011 06:54 PM - Sex - by Chrisline (man)

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My girlfriend and I went to a Renaissance Fair, and she talked me into wearing a kilt. While we were browsing a shop, some old woman asked what I was wearing underneath it. Without missing a beat, my girlfriend replied “My lipstick.” The old woman turned bright red.

#213
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Aug 10, 2011 03:43 AM - Sex - by lmao234 (man)

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I saw this online and thought of you!

#91
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Jan 29, 2011 09:45 PM - Sports - by Mark (man)

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They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.

#83
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Work - by Adam (man)

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99 Problems but a bitch ain’t one, you got 100 problems and a bitch is one.

#68
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Jan 29, 2011 08:36 PM - Love - by Jayzow (man)

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Me: Check out the new Yelawolf video
GF: Whuuuut? I didnt know he was white?
Me: Whatchu mean you didnt know he was white?!
GF: I thought he was Yellow

#282
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Mar 26, 2012 12:51 AM - Misc - by iamknoware (man)

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My GF: Stop treating me like a child.
Her Dad: You sprouting any hairs down there yet?

#99
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Jan 29, 2011 11:36 PM - School - by Marlen (man)

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My girlfriend was asking me what I say when playing video games with my friends. She says, "What do you say, like, 'Suck it! Fuck my dick!'?" God, I love her.

#345
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Nov 27, 2012 12:18 AM - Misc - by bananazack (man)

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My GF: Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
Me: I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.

#85
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Jan 29, 2011 09:17 PM - Drunk - by Jeff (man)

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"My dad told me my only assignment from now till graduation is to not die."

#82
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Health - by Shawn (man)

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"I found a chair on the side of the street that looks lonely. Can I bring it home?"

#1565
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Sep 22, 2015 06:19 PM - Misc - by LonelyChair (man)

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I was at a friend's house the other day, and he comes rushing up to his room stating "Justin Bieber got charged with assault!" I feel bad for the kid who has to go home and tell his Dad he got beat up by Justin Bieber.

#97
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Jan 29, 2011 11:32 PM - Misc - by Marcus (man)

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I don't get it. It may be this hangover, but I just don't get it.

#64
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Jan 29, 2011 08:30 PM - Drunk - by Andrew (man)

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She sends me this picture and says: "Treat me right, or else..."

#92
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Jan 29, 2011 09:45 PM - Love - by Brandon (man)

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"You know how I know I'm the shit? Cuz I keep clogging up the toilet" lol she was rapping a line by the rapper J. Cole

#187
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Jun 5, 2011 04:57 PM - Misc - by Eric Ramos (man)

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On how she was going to convince her boss to give her a raise: "Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth."

#65
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Jan 29, 2011 08:30 PM - Work - by Sean (man)

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