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I saw a pigeon get pood on by another pigeon. Justice.

#210
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Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Misc - by PigeonCrap (man)

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In hind sight, maybe you telling the registration nurse she was a "sexy little hooker" wasn't the best way to get you in back to get your stitches any quicker.

#90
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Jan 30, 2011 03:28 AM - Health - by Chris (man)

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Just got this text from my gf. "I farted earlier and Sargent (her co-worker) was like omg what's that smell and kept sniffing. I was like yeah ew what is that?

#280
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Feb 14, 2012 01:18 AM - Work - by timbo (man)

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Found our roommate masturbating to Justin Bieber. I mean, really?

#94
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Jan 30, 2011 05:12 AM - Sex - by James (man)

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Took her to the movies, and came back to my car to find out my battery had died.. got it jumped and came back to her place, and as i lean in for a kiss, she backs away and says "pssh im not kissing you, your car broke down" and walks into her house. Damn.

#66
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Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Breakups - by Carlos (man)

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"I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good."

#79
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Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Jack (man)

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"Don't you think this would be the perfect store for you to work at? It's what you do naturally."

#100
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Jan 30, 2011 05:50 AM - Money - by Hank (man)

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My GF: Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
Me: I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.

#85
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Jeff (man)

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Sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. Ever. I don't care how drunk you are."

#77
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Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Chris (man)

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My girlfriend said: I like the way the dogs feet smell......weather he pees on them or not. Just something about the way dog feet smell.......I like it :)

#19
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Jan 3, 2011 04:37 AM - Misc - by jmlcolorado (man)

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There is a cigarette burn in the front of my thong...I'm scared to know what happened last night.

#84
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Brady (man)

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"He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well."

#87
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Rodrigo (man)

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My girlfriend and I were having sex, she was on top and I came in her. She tells me "Hold on, I want you to know how this feels", she lifts off and creampies all over my stomach.

#73
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Jan 30, 2011 02:37 AM - Love - by Isaac (man)

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My bed would like to meet you...no, not you...the other guy who isn't a douchebag of a boyfriend.

#69
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Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Love - by Austin (man)

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"We had sex in the bathroom. Then you told me I could watch you pee."

#96
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Jan 30, 2011 05:32 AM - Sex - by Mikey (man)

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Saying 'I love you' only during sex does not count - yes it does!

#70
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Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Love - by Cain (man)

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I was at a friend's house the other day, and he comes rushing up to his room stating "Justin Bieber got charged with assault!" I feel bad for the kid who has to go home and tell his Dad he got beat up by Justin Bieber.

#97
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Jan 30, 2011 05:32 AM - Misc - by Marcus (man)

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Today at Best Buy while I was looking through DVDs, I found the Hannah Montana Meet Miley Cyrus Concert on DVD. In the horror section.

#212
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Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Misc - by Mileyhaterade (man)

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Part 02:
SMS3: You have to call right now or you will pay for it!!!
SMS4: Son of a B**ch, where the hell are you???

#216
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Sep 10, 2011 04:57 PM - Love - by MR. Garcia (man)

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You Will Love Me! Roses Are Red, Bullets Are Lead. Take Me Back Now, Or Get Shot In The Head! LMAOO

#107
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She's A Keeper! (21) - Dump Her Ass! (13)

Feb 18, 2011 09:05 AM - Breakups - by Allen Analian (man)

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