The Shit Your GF Says or Does
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Part 03 (Last):
SMS5: It's all my fault , I thought you were human but I was wrong!!! You piece of shit and your fat f**king mother. Go to hell with your ... cousin (girl)!!!
SMS6: Ow I forgot to say, Me and your friend "Saeed" have had a relationship for 2 months...Bye F**KER!!!

#215
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Sep 10, 2011 04:56 PM - Love - by Mr. Garcia (man)

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Today at Best Buy while I was looking through DVDs, I found the Hannah Montana Meet Miley Cyrus Concert on DVD. In the horror section.

#212
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Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Misc - by Mileyhaterade (man)

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My GF: Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
Me: I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.

#85
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Jeff (man)

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Texting :

Girl : Hi honey :-*
Boy : Hi my love [Sending failed]

Girl : Honeeeeey ?
Boy : What happend ? I'm here [Sending failed]

Girl : Are you ignoring me ?
Boy : No honey , I'm answering you . [Sending failed]

Girl : Relationship's Over , Bye!!!
Boy : Fuck You , Go to hell !!! [Message Sent]

#229
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Aug 14, 5365 01:18 PM - Breakups - by MR. Garcia (man)

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Just realized "strap-on" spelled backwards is "no-parts".

#208
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Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Sex - by Jimms (man)

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"You know how I know I'm the shit? Cuz I keep clogging up the toilet" lol she was rapping a line by the rapper J. Cole

#187
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Jun 5, 2011 09:57 PM - Misc - by Eric Ramos (man)

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Her: Baby can we make sex tonight...
Me: OK honey let me go to the store to get some condoms.
Her: Noooooooooooooo!

#283
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Mar 27, 2012 02:21 AM - Sex - by Anonymous (man)

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"I just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples...I don't know how they got there."

#76
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Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Mel (man)

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My GF: Stop treating me like a child.
Her Dad: You sprouting any hairs down there yet?

#99
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Jan 30, 2011 05:36 AM - School - by Marlen (man)

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Took her to the movies, and came back to my car to find out my battery had died.. got it jumped and came back to her place, and as i lean in for a kiss, she backs away and says "pssh im not kissing you, your car broke down" and walks into her house. Damn.

#66
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Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Breakups - by Carlos (man)

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I was at a friend's house the other day, and he comes rushing up to his room stating "Justin Bieber got charged with assault!" I feel bad for the kid who has to go home and tell his Dad he got beat up by Justin Bieber.

#97
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Jan 30, 2011 05:32 AM - Misc - by Marcus (man)

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My girlfriend was asking me what I say when playing video games with my friends. She says, "What do you say, like, 'Suck it! Fuck my dick!'?" God, I love her.

#345
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Nov 27, 2012 06:18 AM - Misc - by bananazack (man)

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There is a cigarette burn in the front of my thong...I'm scared to know what happened last night.

#84
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Brady (man)

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“It’s like one of those things that you smell, so you think you taste it. Like poop. Or play dough. That happens all the time! Actually, I think when I was a kid, I ate play dough.”

#221
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Sep 22, 2011 11:48 PM - Misc - by James (man)

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My bed would like to meet you...no, not you...the other guy who isn't a douchebag of a boyfriend.

#69
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Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Love - by Austin (man)

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My girlfriend said: I like the way the dogs feet smell......weather he pees on them or not. Just something about the way dog feet smell.......I like it :)

#19
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Jan 3, 2011 04:37 AM - Misc - by jmlcolorado (man)

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“You just fisted my kidney!!!”

#220
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Sep 22, 2011 11:48 PM - Sex - by Marlon (man)

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We were driving home from a weekend trip and my girl sucked me off and I came in her mouth (she never takes it in her mouth). So we are at my house the day after and I cum on her tits but got a little near her mouth. She said "just cause I spoil you one time you think you can just do what you want"

#106
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Feb 16, 2011 03:42 AM - Sex - by g6landed (man)

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On leaving me alone for a few weeks: “Ok here's where I put the laundry detergent and bleach. In case you, like, murder a hooker in bed or something.”

#227
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Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Mark (man)

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You Will Love Me! Roses Are Red, Bullets Are Lead. Take Me Back Now, Or Get Shot In The Head! LMAOO

#107
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Feb 18, 2011 09:05 AM - Breakups - by Allen Analian (man)

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