The Shit Your GF Says or Does
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"This woman should be the manager for making me a loyal customer."

#102
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She's A Keeper! (20) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Jan 29, 2011 11:56 PM - Work - by mademyday (man)

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Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults. Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is my way of breaking up with you.

#71
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She's A Keeper! (6) - Dump Her Ass! (30)

Jan 29, 2011 08:36 PM - Kids - by Danny (man)

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"I can't fall in love with someone until I know they're good at boning. It's a relationship, not an apprenticeship."

#223
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She's A Keeper! (52) - Dump Her Ass! (15)

Sep 22, 2011 06:54 PM - Love - by Mike (man)

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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks.

#75
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Drunk - by Harold (man)

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I'm watching "I Used To Be Fat". I've been doing crunches for the last half hour, yelling at the slut on TV to stop crying and do crunches."

#81
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Health - by John (man)

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My girl and I were having sex, and she decided to finish me in her mouth. As I was about to finish blowing my load, she took her mouth off and the last bit of jizz landed on my stomach. She swallowed what was in her mouth and said, "Oh god, I'm sorry. I couldn't take anymore, my mouth was full."

#104
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She's A Keeper! (95) - Dump Her Ass! (8)

Feb 9, 2011 02:56 AM - Sex - by Matador (man)

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Texting :

Girl : Hi honey :-*
Boy : Hi my love [Sending failed]

Girl : Honeeeeey ?
Boy : What happend ? I'm here [Sending failed]

Girl : Are you ignoring me ?
Boy : No honey , I'm answering you . [Sending failed]

Girl : Relationship's Over , Bye!!!
Boy : Fuck You , Go to hell !!! [Message Sent]

#229
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She's A Keeper! (14) - Dump Her Ass! (50)

Dec 13, 5365 01:18 PM - Breakups - by MR. Garcia (man)

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After thirty minutes of sex my GF says: "Ya know, if it gets too wet there, you can always put it in my butt!"

#274
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She's A Keeper! (131) - Dump Her Ass! (13)

Dec 28, 2011 07:03 PM - Sex - by Mannzutier (woman)

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A good way to prevent cheating in the US.

#89
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She's A Keeper! (7) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

Jan 29, 2011 09:23 PM - School - by WTF (man)

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"My dad told me my only assignment from now till graduation is to not die."

#82
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She's A Keeper! (11) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Health - by Shawn (man)

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On a foreigner we know who is traveling through Australia: “She is gonna back up on so much random dick it's incredible.”

#226
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She's A Keeper! (33) - Dump Her Ass! (6)

Sep 22, 2011 06:54 PM - Sex - by Chrisline (man)

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Part 03 (Last):
SMS5: It's all my fault , I thought you were human but I was wrong!!! You piece of shit and your fat f**king mother. Go to hell with your ... cousin (girl)!!!
SMS6: Ow I forgot to say, Me and your friend "Saeed" have had a relationship for 2 months...Bye F**KER!!!

#215
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Sep 10, 2011 11:56 AM - Love - by Mr. Garcia (man)

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“It’s like one of those things that you smell, so you think you taste it. Like poop. Or play dough. That happens all the time! Actually, I think when I was a kid, I ate play dough.”

#221
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Sep 22, 2011 06:48 PM - Misc - by James (man)

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"We had sex in the bathroom. Then you told me I could watch you pee."

#96
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She's A Keeper! (40) - Dump Her Ass! (6)

Jan 29, 2011 11:32 PM - Sex - by Mikey (man)

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"Reminds me of last night. Do you remember? It looks so dirty when I see others doing it. lol"

#93
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She's A Keeper! (26) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

Jan 29, 2011 11:11 PM - Sex - by Phil (man)

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Found our roommate masturbating to Justin Bieber. I mean, really?

#94
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She's A Keeper! (18) - Dump Her Ass! (15)

Jan 29, 2011 11:12 PM - Sex - by James (man)

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Did you tell your mom to text me "I love you"?

#67
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She's A Keeper! (9) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 29, 2011 08:36 PM - Love - by Peter (man)

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I saw two teenagers stopped at a green light at a major road, honking at and flipping off an old man crossing slowly. As a result, the old man dropped his pants and mooned the youngsters. Classic!

#209
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She's A Keeper! (23) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

Aug 10, 2011 03:43 AM - Sex - by Moonies (man)

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She sends me this picture and says: "Treat me right, or else..."

#92
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She's A Keeper! (9) - Dump Her Ass! (51)

Jan 29, 2011 09:45 PM - Love - by Brandon (man)

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"I think of you as a brother...WTF?"

#72
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She's A Keeper! (1) - Dump Her Ass! (44)

Jan 29, 2011 08:37 PM - Love - by Brian (man)

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