The Shit Your GF Says or Does

Submit Your Story


Your Nickname :
Categories :
Gender? :
Upload Picture:

Random Stories

Sort: All Time | Today Only | This Week | This Month | This Year

After I make it rain at a strip club, my drunk gf says: "Giving the strippers money is like feeding the animals at the zoo."

#239
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (44) - Dump Her Ass! (12)

Nov 26, 2011 06:13 AM - Money - by Say Whaaaa (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks.

#75
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (18) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Harold (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

Did you ever realize the word 'dome' says 'do me'?

#86
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (31) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Misc - by Clay (man)

Sign Up for More!

 


She sends me this picture and says: "Treat me right, or else..."

#92
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (9) - Dump Her Ass! (51)

Jan 30, 2011 03:45 AM - Love - by Brandon (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

"I just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples...I don't know how they got there."

#76
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (32) - Dump Her Ass! (7)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Mel (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

"We had sex in the bathroom. Then you told me I could watch you pee."

#96
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (40) - Dump Her Ass! (6)

Jan 30, 2011 05:32 AM - Sex - by Mikey (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

My bed would like to meet you...no, not you...the other guy who isn't a douchebag of a boyfriend.

#69
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (0) - Dump Her Ass! (26)

Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Love - by Austin (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.

#83
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (9) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Work - by Adam (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

"I found a chair on the side of the street that looks lonely. Can I bring it home?"

#1565
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (8) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

Sep 22, 2015 11:19 PM - Misc - by LonelyChair (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

I don't get it. It may be this hangover, but I just don't get it.

#64
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (7) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

Jan 30, 2011 02:30 AM - Drunk - by Andrew (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

Me: Check out the new Yelawolf video
GF: Whuuuut? I didnt know he was white?
Me: Whatchu mean you didnt know he was white?!
GF: I thought he was Yellow

#282
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (4) - Dump Her Ass! (14)

Mar 26, 2012 05:51 AM - Misc - by iamknoware (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

"My dad told me my only assignment from now till graduation is to not die."

#82
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (11) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Health - by Shawn (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

I saw a pigeon get pood on by another pigeon. Justice.

#210
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (34) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Misc - by PigeonCrap (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

I was at a friend's house the other day, and he comes rushing up to his room stating "Justin Bieber got charged with assault!" I feel bad for the kid who has to go home and tell his Dad he got beat up by Justin Bieber.

#97
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (27) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Jan 30, 2011 05:32 AM - Misc - by Marcus (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

Just realized "strap-on" spelled backwards is "no-parts".

#208
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (29) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Sex - by Jimms (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

Her: Baby can we make sex tonight...
Me: OK honey let me go to the store to get some condoms.
Her: Noooooooooooooo!

#283
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (35) - Dump Her Ass! (32)

Mar 27, 2012 02:21 AM - Sex - by Anonymous (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

I just drunk dialed your mom! SHIT!

#1
1 Comments

She's A Keeper! (57) - Dump Her Ass! (22)

Dec 11, 2010 09:57 PM - Drunk - by prodjallen (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

After having sex, I finished in her mouth, and she looks up at me, a big smile comes across her face and she excitedly says "It tastes like Devon" .

#228
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (22) - Dump Her Ass! (74)

Sep 26, 2011 02:15 AM - Sex - by devon-guy (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

“You just fisted my kidney!!!”

#220
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (39) - Dump Her Ass! (13)

Sep 22, 2011 11:48 PM - Sex - by Marlon (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

My little brother (10) was acting very crazy one day and my mother asked him if they needed to put him on medication. With a perfectly straight face, he replied, "There’s no medication for being awesome."

#211
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (31) - Dump Her Ass! (4)

Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Kids - by Awesomeness12 (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

Your Account
Username: Password:  Remember Me

Connect