The Shit Your GF Says or Does

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Today at Best Buy while I was looking through DVDs, I found the Hannah Montana Meet Miley Cyrus Concert on DVD. In the horror section.

#212
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Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Misc - by Mileyhaterade (man)

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On her seeming lack of enthusiasm while she prepared coffee in the nude: "You get enthusiasm, or you get boobs. You don't get both."

#225
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Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Sam (man)

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I saw a pigeon get pood on by another pigeon. Justice.

#210
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Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Misc - by PigeonCrap (man)

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My GF: Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
Me: I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.

#85
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Jeff (man)

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99 Problems but a bitch ain’t one, you got 100 problems and a bitch is one.

#68
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Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Love - by Jayzow (man)

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I know this is gonna sound weird, but my boobs tell me to break up with you - then get implants and shut them the fuck up!

#74
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Jan 30, 2011 02:37 AM - Sex - by Jamie (man)

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I have a deviated septum. Can I snort things?

#80
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Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Misc - by Ryan (man)

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Just realized "strap-on" spelled backwards is "no-parts".

#208
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Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Sex - by Jimms (man)

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"I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good."

#79
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Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Jack (man)

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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks.

#75
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Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Harold (man)

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"You know how I know I'm the shit? Cuz I keep clogging up the toilet" lol she was rapping a line by the rapper J. Cole

#187
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Jun 5, 2011 09:57 PM - Misc - by Eric Ramos (man)

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"This woman should be the manager for making me a loyal customer."

#102
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Jan 30, 2011 05:56 AM - Work - by mademyday (man)

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My girlfriend and I were having sex, she was on top and I came in her. She tells me "Hold on, I want you to know how this feels", she lifts off and creampies all over my stomach.

#73
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Jan 30, 2011 02:37 AM - Love - by Isaac (man)

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Part 03 (Last):
SMS5: It's all my fault , I thought you were human but I was wrong!!! You piece of shit and your fat f**king mother. Go to hell with your ... cousin (girl)!!!
SMS6: Ow I forgot to say, Me and your friend "Saeed" have had a relationship for 2 months...Bye F**KER!!!

#215
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Sep 10, 2011 04:56 PM - Love - by Mr. Garcia (man)

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“It’s like one of those things that you smell, so you think you taste it. Like poop. Or play dough. That happens all the time! Actually, I think when I was a kid, I ate play dough.”

#221
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Sep 22, 2011 11:48 PM - Misc - by James (man)

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She sends me this picture and says: "Treat me right, or else..."

#92
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Jan 30, 2011 03:45 AM - Love - by Brandon (man)

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"You are always looking for the green grass over the rainbow"

#346
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Dec 12, 2012 02:02 AM - Misc - by pie (man)

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My bed would like to meet you...no, not you...the other guy who isn't a douchebag of a boyfriend.

#69
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Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Love - by Austin (man)

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"I can't fall in love with someone until I know they're good at boning. It's a relationship, not an apprenticeship."

#223
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Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Love - by Mike (man)

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I'm watching "I Used To Be Fat". I've been doing crunches for the last half hour, yelling at the slut on TV to stop crying and do crunches."

#81
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Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Health - by John (man)

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