The Shit Your GF Says or Does
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They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.

#83
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She's A Keeper! (9) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Work - by Adam (man)

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My girlfriend and I went to a Renaissance Fair, and she talked me into wearing a kilt. While we were browsing a shop, some old woman asked what I was wearing underneath it. Without missing a beat, my girlfriend replied “My lipstick.” The old woman turned bright red.

#213
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She's A Keeper! (111) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Sex - by lmao234 (man)

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She sends me this picture and says: "Treat me right, or else..."

#92
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She's A Keeper! (9) - Dump Her Ass! (51)

Jan 30, 2011 03:45 AM - Love - by Brandon (man)

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Took her to the movies, and came back to my car to find out my battery had died.. got it jumped and came back to her place, and as i lean in for a kiss, she backs away and says "pssh im not kissing you, your car broke down" and walks into her house. Damn.

#66
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Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Breakups - by Carlos (man)

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Me: Check out the new Yelawolf video
GF: Whuuuut? I didnt know he was white?
Me: Whatchu mean you didnt know he was white?!
GF: I thought he was Yellow

#282
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Mar 26, 2012 05:51 AM - Misc - by iamknoware (man)

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"This woman should be the manager for making me a loyal customer."

#102
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She's A Keeper! (20) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Jan 30, 2011 05:56 AM - Work - by mademyday (man)

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"You know how I know I'm the shit? Cuz I keep clogging up the toilet" lol she was rapping a line by the rapper J. Cole

#187
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She's A Keeper! (15) - Dump Her Ass! (6)

Jun 5, 2011 09:57 PM - Misc - by Eric Ramos (man)

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I don't get it. It may be this hangover, but I just don't get it.

#64
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She's A Keeper! (7) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

Jan 30, 2011 02:30 AM - Drunk - by Andrew (man)

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I'm watching "I Used To Be Fat". I've been doing crunches for the last half hour, yelling at the slut on TV to stop crying and do crunches."

#81
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She's A Keeper! (24) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Health - by John (man)

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My girlfriend was asking me what I say when playing video games with my friends. She says, "What do you say, like, 'Suck it! Fuck my dick!'?" God, I love her.

#345
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Nov 27, 2012 06:18 AM - Misc - by bananazack (man)

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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks.

#75
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She's A Keeper! (18) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Harold (man)

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Part 03 (Last):
SMS5: It's all my fault , I thought you were human but I was wrong!!! You piece of shit and your fat f**king mother. Go to hell with your ... cousin (girl)!!!
SMS6: Ow I forgot to say, Me and your friend "Saeed" have had a relationship for 2 months...Bye F**KER!!!

#215
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Sep 10, 2011 04:56 PM - Love - by Mr. Garcia (man)

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I saw two teenagers stopped at a green light at a major road, honking at and flipping off an old man crossing slowly. As a result, the old man dropped his pants and mooned the youngsters. Classic!

#209
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She's A Keeper! (23) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Sex - by Moonies (man)

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"I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good."

#79
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She's A Keeper! (33) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Jack (man)

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I was at a friend's house the other day, and he comes rushing up to his room stating "Justin Bieber got charged with assault!" I feel bad for the kid who has to go home and tell his Dad he got beat up by Justin Bieber.

#97
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She's A Keeper! (27) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Jan 30, 2011 05:32 AM - Misc - by Marcus (man)

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My little brother (10) was acting very crazy one day and my mother asked him if they needed to put him on medication. With a perfectly straight face, he replied, "There’s no medication for being awesome."

#211
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Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Kids - by Awesomeness12 (man)

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Texting :

Girl : Hi honey :-*
Boy : Hi my love [Sending failed]

Girl : Honeeeeey ?
Boy : What happend ? I'm here [Sending failed]

Girl : Are you ignoring me ?
Boy : No honey , I'm answering you . [Sending failed]

Girl : Relationship's Over , Bye!!!
Boy : Fuck You , Go to hell !!! [Message Sent]

#229
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She's A Keeper! (14) - Dump Her Ass! (51)

Oct 13, 2011 02:16 PM - Breakups - by MR. Garcia (man)

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I saw this online and thought of you!

#91
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She's A Keeper! (36) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 03:45 AM - Sports - by Mark (man)

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"Camping in the ghetto is the equivalent to living in Uganda."

#222
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She's A Keeper! (26) - Dump Her Ass! (22)

Sep 22, 2011 11:50 PM - Misc - by David (man)

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My girlfriend said: I like the way the dogs feet smell......weather he pees on them or not. Just something about the way dog feet smell.......I like it :)

#19
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She's A Keeper! (7) - Dump Her Ass! (62)

Jan 3, 2011 04:37 AM - Misc - by jmlcolorado (man)

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