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Saying 'I love you' only during sex does not count - yes it does!

#70
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She's A Keeper! (24) - Dump Her Ass! (9)

Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Love - by Cain (man)

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They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.

#83
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She's A Keeper! (9) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Work - by Adam (man)

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I saw two teenagers stopped at a green light at a major road, honking at and flipping off an old man crossing slowly. As a result, the old man dropped his pants and mooned the youngsters. Classic!

#209
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She's A Keeper! (23) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Sex - by Moonies (man)

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Today at Best Buy while I was looking through DVDs, I found the Hannah Montana Meet Miley Cyrus Concert on DVD. In the horror section.

#212
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She's A Keeper! (29) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Misc - by Mileyhaterade (man)

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"Don't you think this would be the perfect store for you to work at? It's what you do naturally."

#100
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She's A Keeper! (25) - Dump Her Ass! (4)

Jan 30, 2011 05:50 AM - Money - by Hank (man)

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Texting :

Girl : Hi honey :-*
Boy : Hi my love [Sending failed]

Girl : Honeeeeey ?
Boy : What happend ? I'm here [Sending failed]

Girl : Are you ignoring me ?
Boy : No honey , I'm answering you . [Sending failed]

Girl : Relationship's Over , Bye!!!
Boy : Fuck You , Go to hell !!! [Message Sent]

#229
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She's A Keeper! (14) - Dump Her Ass! (51)

Oct 13, 2011 02:16 PM - Breakups - by MR. Garcia (man)

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"This woman should be the manager for making me a loyal customer."

#102
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She's A Keeper! (20) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Jan 30, 2011 05:56 AM - Work - by mademyday (man)

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"My dad told me my only assignment from now till graduation is to not die."

#82
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She's A Keeper! (11) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Health - by Shawn (man)

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Part 02:
SMS3: You have to call right now or you will pay for it!!!
SMS4: Son of a B**ch, where the hell are you???

#216
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Sep 10, 2011 04:57 PM - Love - by MR. Garcia (man)

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Just realized "strap-on" spelled backwards is "no-parts".

#208
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She's A Keeper! (29) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Sex - by Jimms (man)

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Took her to the movies, and came back to my car to find out my battery had died.. got it jumped and came back to her place, and as i lean in for a kiss, she backs away and says "pssh im not kissing you, your car broke down" and walks into her house. Damn.

#66
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She's A Keeper! (2) - Dump Her Ass! (62)

Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Breakups - by Carlos (man)

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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks.

#75
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She's A Keeper! (18) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Harold (man)

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"We had sex in the bathroom. Then you told me I could watch you pee."

#96
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She's A Keeper! (40) - Dump Her Ass! (6)

Jan 30, 2011 05:32 AM - Sex - by Mikey (man)

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My girlfriend and I went to a Renaissance Fair, and she talked me into wearing a kilt. While we were browsing a shop, some old woman asked what I was wearing underneath it. Without missing a beat, my girlfriend replied “My lipstick.” The old woman turned bright red.

#213
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She's A Keeper! (111) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Sex - by lmao234 (man)

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My girlfriend was asking me what I say when playing video games with my friends. She says, "What do you say, like, 'Suck it! Fuck my dick!'?" God, I love her.

#345
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Nov 27, 2012 06:18 AM - Misc - by bananazack (man)

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"I can't fall in love with someone until I know they're good at boning. It's a relationship, not an apprenticeship."

#223
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She's A Keeper! (52) - Dump Her Ass! (15)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Love - by Mike (man)

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"You know how I know I'm the shit? Cuz I keep clogging up the toilet" lol she was rapping a line by the rapper J. Cole

#187
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She's A Keeper! (15) - Dump Her Ass! (6)

Jun 5, 2011 09:57 PM - Misc - by Eric Ramos (man)

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While Skyping:
Me: What are you doing?
GF: Looking at cute aprons and matching lace thongs for when I cook dinner for you naked. Red or hot pink?

#297
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She's A Keeper! (54) - Dump Her Ass! (13)

Sep 5, 2012 09:43 AM - Sex - by Darren (man)

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"I just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples...I don't know how they got there."

#76
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She's A Keeper! (32) - Dump Her Ass! (7)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Mel (man)

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"I think of you as a brother...WTF?"

#72
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She's A Keeper! (2) - Dump Her Ass! (44)

Jan 30, 2011 02:37 AM - Love - by Brian (man)

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