The Shit Your GF Says or Does
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Me: Check out the new Yelawolf video
GF: Whuuuut? I didnt know he was white?
Me: Whatchu mean you didnt know he was white?!
GF: I thought he was Yellow

#282
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She's A Keeper! (4) - Dump Her Ass! (14)

Mar 26, 2012 05:51 AM - Misc - by iamknoware (man)

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99 Problems but a bitch ain’t one, you got 100 problems and a bitch is one.

#68
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She's A Keeper! (6) - Dump Her Ass! (10)

Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Love - by Jayzow (man)

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I was at a friend's house the other day, and he comes rushing up to his room stating "Justin Bieber got charged with assault!" I feel bad for the kid who has to go home and tell his Dad he got beat up by Justin Bieber.

#97
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She's A Keeper! (27) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Jan 30, 2011 05:32 AM - Misc - by Marcus (man)

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On leaving me alone for a few weeks: “Ok here's where I put the laundry detergent and bleach. In case you, like, murder a hooker in bed or something.”

#227
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She's A Keeper! (91) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Mark (man)

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"This woman should be the manager for making me a loyal customer."

#102
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She's A Keeper! (20) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Jan 30, 2011 05:56 AM - Work - by mademyday (man)

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"I can't fall in love with someone until I know they're good at boning. It's a relationship, not an apprenticeship."

#223
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Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Love - by Mike (man)

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Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults. Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is my way of breaking up with you.

#71
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Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Kids - by Danny (man)

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"I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good."

#79
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She's A Keeper! (33) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Jack (man)

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After I make it rain at a strip club, my drunk gf says: "Giving the strippers money is like feeding the animals at the zoo."

#239
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Nov 26, 2011 06:13 AM - Money - by Say Whaaaa (man)

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Part 03 (Last):
SMS5: It's all my fault , I thought you were human but I was wrong!!! You piece of shit and your fat f**king mother. Go to hell with your ... cousin (girl)!!!
SMS6: Ow I forgot to say, Me and your friend "Saeed" have had a relationship for 2 months...Bye F**KER!!!

#215
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She's A Keeper! (4) - Dump Her Ass! (55)

Sep 10, 2011 04:56 PM - Love - by Mr. Garcia (man)

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Today, I was at school and saw a girl that was deaf wearing a shirt saying, "La la la, I can't hear you! Lol...

#98
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She's A Keeper! (53) - Dump Her Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 05:36 AM - School - by Marcus (man)

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She sends me this picture and says: "Treat me right, or else..."

#92
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She's A Keeper! (9) - Dump Her Ass! (51)

Jan 30, 2011 03:45 AM - Love - by Brandon (man)

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"Don't you think this would be the perfect store for you to work at? It's what you do naturally."

#100
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Jan 30, 2011 05:50 AM - Money - by Hank (man)

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I saw this online and thought of you!

#91
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She's A Keeper! (36) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 03:45 AM - Sports - by Mark (man)

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“You just fisted my kidney!!!”

#220
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Sep 22, 2011 11:48 PM - Sex - by Marlon (man)

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"I think of you as a brother...WTF?"

#72
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She's A Keeper! (2) - Dump Her Ass! (44)

Jan 30, 2011 02:37 AM - Love - by Brian (man)

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"I just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples...I don't know how they got there."

#76
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She's A Keeper! (32) - Dump Her Ass! (7)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Mel (man)

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Just realized "strap-on" spelled backwards is "no-parts".

#208
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She's A Keeper! (29) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Sex - by Jimms (man)

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“It’s like one of those things that you smell, so you think you taste it. Like poop. Or play dough. That happens all the time! Actually, I think when I was a kid, I ate play dough.”

#221
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She's A Keeper! (16) - Dump Her Ass! (11)

Sep 22, 2011 11:48 PM - Misc - by James (man)

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“I don’t even understand how you can dance to dubstep”

#219
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She's A Keeper! (34) - Dump Her Ass! (27)

Sep 22, 2011 11:48 PM - Misc - by Steve (man)

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