The Shit Your GF Says or Does

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Category: Drunk

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On why she was not going to wear a bra that day: “Because my boobs are awesome and they must be free to point at the sky!”

#224
1 Comments

She's A Keeper! (68) - Dump Her Ass! (9)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Drunk - by Carl (man)

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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.

#88
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She's A Keeper! (12) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Rudy (man)

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"He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well."

#87
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She's A Keeper! (27) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Rodrigo (man)

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My GF: Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
Me: I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.

#85
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She's A Keeper! (18) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Jeff (man)

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There is a cigarette burn in the front of my thong...I'm scared to know what happened last night.

#84
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She's A Keeper! (12) - Dump Her Ass! (11)

Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Brady (man)

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"I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good."

#79
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She's A Keeper! (33) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Jack (man)

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Sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. Ever. I don't care how drunk you are."

#77
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She's A Keeper! (25) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Chris (man)

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"I just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples...I don't know how they got there."

#76
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She's A Keeper! (32) - Dump Her Ass! (7)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Mel (man)

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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks.

#75
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She's A Keeper! (18) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Harold (man)

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I don't get it. It may be this hangover, but I just don't get it.

#64
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She's A Keeper! (7) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

Jan 30, 2011 02:30 AM - Drunk - by Andrew (man)

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I just drunk dialed your mom! SHIT!

#1
1 Comments

She's A Keeper! (57) - Dump Her Ass! (22)

Dec 11, 2010 09:57 PM - Drunk - by prodjallen (man)

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