The Shit Your GF Says or Does
Advanced Search

Home

|

Keep Her Stories

|

Dump Her Stories

|

Random Stories

|

Submit A Story

|

Moderate

|

ShitMyBFSays.com

Submit Your Story


Your Nickname :
Categories :
Gender? :
Upload Picture:
Email notification ?

Random Stories

Sort: All Time | Today Only | This Week | This Month | This Year

"Camping in the ghetto is the equivalent to living in Uganda."

#222
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (26) - Dump Her Ass! (22)

Sep 22, 2011 11:50 PM - Misc - by David (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

"I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good."

#79
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (33) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Jack (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

My girlfriend was asking me what I say when playing video games with my friends. She says, "What do you say, like, 'Suck it! Fuck my dick!'?" God, I love her.

#345
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (4) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Nov 27, 2012 06:18 AM - Misc - by bananazack (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

My girlfriend and I went to a Renaissance Fair, and she talked me into wearing a kilt. While we were browsing a shop, some old woman asked what I was wearing underneath it. Without missing a beat, my girlfriend replied “My lipstick.” The old woman turned bright red.

#213
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (111) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Sex - by lmao234 (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

"I just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples...I don't know how they got there."

#76
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (32) - Dump Her Ass! (7)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Mel (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults. Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is my way of breaking up with you.

#71
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (6) - Dump Her Ass! (30)

Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Kids - by Danny (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

“It’s like one of those things that you smell, so you think you taste it. Like poop. Or play dough. That happens all the time! Actually, I think when I was a kid, I ate play dough.”

#221
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (16) - Dump Her Ass! (11)

Sep 22, 2011 11:48 PM - Misc - by James (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

While Skyping:
Me: What are you doing?
GF: Looking at cute aprons and matching lace thongs for when I cook dinner for you naked. Red or hot pink?

#297
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (54) - Dump Her Ass! (13)

Sep 5, 2012 09:43 AM - Sex - by Darren (man)

Sign Up for More!

 


She sends me this picture and says: "Treat me right, or else..."

#92
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (9) - Dump Her Ass! (51)

Jan 30, 2011 03:45 AM - Love - by Brandon (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

I'm watching "I Used To Be Fat". I've been doing crunches for the last half hour, yelling at the slut on TV to stop crying and do crunches."

#81
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (24) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Health - by John (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

"I just bought condoms at Big Lots. Please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months."

#95
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (28) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 05:12 AM - Sex - by Jordan (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

On her seeming lack of enthusiasm while she prepared coffee in the nude: "You get enthusiasm, or you get boobs. You don't get both."

#225
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (57) - Dump Her Ass! (9)

Sep 22, 2011 11:54 PM - Misc - by Sam (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

My GF: Stop treating me like a child.
Her Dad: You sprouting any hairs down there yet?

#99
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (14) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 05:36 AM - School - by Marlen (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

My GF: Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
Me: I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.

#85
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (18) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Jeff (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.

#88
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (12) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Rudy (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

Me: Check out the new Yelawolf video
GF: Whuuuut? I didnt know he was white?
Me: Whatchu mean you didnt know he was white?!
GF: I thought he was Yellow

#282
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (4) - Dump Her Ass! (14)

Mar 26, 2012 05:51 AM - Misc - by iamknoware (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

“You just fisted my kidney!!!”

#220
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (39) - Dump Her Ass! (13)

Sep 22, 2011 11:48 PM - Sex - by Marlon (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.

#83
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (9) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Work - by Adam (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

My bed would like to meet you...no, not you...the other guy who isn't a douchebag of a boyfriend.

#69
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (0) - Dump Her Ass! (26)

Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Love - by Austin (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

I don't get it. It may be this hangover, but I just don't get it.

#64
0 Comments

She's A Keeper! (7) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

Jan 30, 2011 02:30 AM - Drunk - by Andrew (man)

Sign Up for More!

 

Your Account
Username: Password:  Remember Me
Sign Up - Forgot?

Connect
Entertane