The Shit Your GF Says or Does
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My girlfriend is terrible at geography. She one time asked "Which one is the Atlantic Ocean?"

#206 (0) - Nov 18, 2009 03:36 PM by Matt - Misc - She's A Keeper! (28) - Dump Her Ass! (78)

Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life.

#110 (0) - Nov 15, 2009 02:43 PM by Anonymous - Misc - She's A Keeper! (12) - Dump Her Ass! (99)

they should make a rosetta stone for men to figure out what the fuck women are trying to say

#161 (0) - Nov 17, 2009 06:51 PM by spanky mcdoogle - Misc - She's A Keeper! (170) - Dump Her Ass! (23)

"My dream last night consisted of my bed being a Bloons TD track and me mercilessly trying to throw darts at all the balloons. It was intense."

#369 (0) - Dec 11, 2009 11:15 AM by anonymous - Misc - She's A Keeper! (43) - Dump Her Ass! (14)

"I didn't mean to bust your lip open, you were just doing a really good job. Are you going to keep going?"

#144 (0) - Nov 17, 2009 02:19 PM by Cunnilinguy - Dating - She's A Keeper! (348) - Dump Her Ass! (10)

"We're still together, right? Cuz you haven't looked me in the eye since that round of Never Have I Ever."

#494 (0) - Jan 7, 2010 06:43 PM by Anonymous - Breakups - She's A Keeper! (10) - Dump Her Ass! (22)

I watch hours of football every weekend. My gf's solution: commish her own fantasy football league to encourage herself to watch. To top if off, she drafted the Giants D so she could root for them with me despite being raised a 'Skins fan.

#167 (0) - Nov 17, 2009 07:25 PM by Anonymous - Dating - She's A Keeper! (389) - Dump Her Ass! (24)

We were at my parents house. I asked her if I should take some Red Bull for later. She says "I don't know, I only have space in my body for beer and you!"

#341 (0) - Dec 8, 2009 01:28 AM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (66) - Dump Her Ass! (11)

Dude I just heard my girlfriend singing in the bathroom "I love making poop"

#41 (0) - Oct 2, 2009 11:36 PM by Anonymous - Misc - She's A Keeper! (128) - Dump Her Ass! (59)

After I came in her mouth, she looked up at me and whispered, "I just ate your babies." WTF?!

#42 (0) - Oct 2, 2009 11:37 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - She's A Keeper! (343) - Dump Her Ass! (63)

"The sooner we finish wrapping the presents, the sooner you get to start filling me with cum. Now get wrapping, or that will be tomorrow."

#435 (0) - Dec 23, 2009 02:23 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - She's A Keeper! (143) - Dump Her Ass! (6)

You fell down drunk and tried to play it off like you were army crawling.

#40 (0) - Oct 2, 2009 11:35 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (116) - Dump Her Ass! (6)

Pete, my gay best friend, just told the whole party I'm a squirter. Please, pick me up.

#603 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 03:08 PM by Anonymous - Misc - She's A Keeper! (45) - Dump Her Ass! (0)

“Got my head stuck in the mailbox again”

#252 (0) - Nov 22, 2009 09:15 PM by Anonymous - Misc - She's A Keeper! (65) - Dump Her Ass! (37)

"Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette???"

#315 (0) - Dec 3, 2009 12:38 PM by Anonymous - Health - She's A Keeper! (18) - Dump Her Ass! (65)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years hacked my mail, sent a mail to her address, breaking up with "herself" and making me look like a douche. Now I won't get the internship at her father's firm because she wrote "I hate you and your family, we are through." I dropped out of college for that internship.

#112 (1) - Nov 15, 2009 02:47 PM by Anonymous - Breakups - She's A Keeper! (18) - Dump Her Ass! (287)

My baby momma came by a couple days ago and I asked her if I could hit it, so she says she can only give me head because she doesn't want to cheat on her boyfriend.

#247 (0) - Nov 21, 2009 05:27 PM by Base - Intimacy - She's A Keeper! (49) - Dump Her Ass! (96)

"I think I'm gonna go out tonight. I feel like dancing and flirting with boys" "oops, I didn't mean to text you."

#629 (0) - Feb 5, 2010 09:31 PM by JakeTheRipper - Dating - She's A Keeper! (2) - Dump Her Ass! (94)

Can I blow you in the kitchen?

#519 (0) - Jan 17, 2010 01:11 AM by B - Intimacy - She's A Keeper! (73) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

So I just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God I love my boobs.

#47 (0) - Oct 8, 2009 12:31 AM by Anonymous - Misc - She's A Keeper! (212) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

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