The Shit Your GF Says or Does
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"My dad told me my only assignment from now till graduation is to not die."

#82
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Health - by Shawn (man)

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“I don’t even understand how you can dance to dubstep”

#219
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Sep 22, 2011 06:48 PM - Misc - by Steve (man)

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Did you tell your mom to text me "I love you"?

#67
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Jan 29, 2011 08:36 PM - Love - by Peter (man)

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My girlfriend and I were having sex, she was on top and I came in her. She tells me "Hold on, I want you to know how this feels", she lifts off and creampies all over my stomach.

#73
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Jan 29, 2011 08:37 PM - Love - by Isaac (man)

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99 Problems but a bitch ain’t one, you got 100 problems and a bitch is one.

#68
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Jan 29, 2011 08:36 PM - Love - by Jayzow (man)

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My GF: Stop treating me like a child.
Her Dad: You sprouting any hairs down there yet?

#99
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Jan 29, 2011 11:36 PM - School - by Marlen (man)

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After thirty minutes of sex my GF says: "Ya know, if it gets too wet there, you can always put it in my butt!"

#274
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Dec 28, 2011 07:03 PM - Sex - by Mannzutier (woman)

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My GF: Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
Me: I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.

#85
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Jan 29, 2011 09:17 PM - Drunk - by Jeff (man)

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Me: Check out the new Yelawolf video
GF: Whuuuut? I didnt know he was white?
Me: Whatchu mean you didnt know he was white?!
GF: I thought he was Yellow

#282
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Mar 26, 2012 12:51 AM - Misc - by iamknoware (man)

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On a foreigner we know who is traveling through Australia: “She is gonna back up on so much random dick it's incredible.”

#226
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Sep 22, 2011 06:54 PM - Sex - by Chrisline (man)

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Her: Baby can we make sex tonight...
Me: OK honey let me go to the store to get some condoms.
Her: Noooooooooooooo!

#283
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Mar 26, 2012 09:21 PM - Sex - by Anonymous (man)

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My girlfriend said: I like the way the dogs feet smell......weather he pees on them or not. Just something about the way dog feet smell.......I like it :)

#19
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Jan 2, 2011 10:37 PM - Misc - by jmlcolorado (man)

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"Reminds me of last night. Do you remember? It looks so dirty when I see others doing it. lol"

#93
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Jan 29, 2011 11:11 PM - Sex - by Phil (man)

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"You are always looking for the green grass over the rainbow"

#346
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Dec 11, 2012 08:02 PM - Misc - by pie (man)

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Did you ever realize the word 'dome' says 'do me'?

#86
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Jan 29, 2011 09:17 PM - Misc - by Clay (man)

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My bed would like to meet you...no, not you...the other guy who isn't a douchebag of a boyfriend.

#69
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Jan 29, 2011 08:36 PM - Love - by Austin (man)

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“It’s like one of those things that you smell, so you think you taste it. Like poop. Or play dough. That happens all the time! Actually, I think when I was a kid, I ate play dough.”

#221
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Sep 22, 2011 06:48 PM - Misc - by James (man)

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"Camping in the ghetto is the equivalent to living in Uganda."

#222
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Sep 22, 2011 06:50 PM - Misc - by David (man)

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After talking to her ex-bf: "Great, now I have hepatitis, gross.

#63
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Jan 29, 2011 08:30 PM - Sex - by Mike (man)

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"I just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples...I don't know how they got there."

#76
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Drunk - by Mel (man)

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