Upon talking Star Wars, she proclaimed "Oh! Jar Jar Binks is my favorite character!" ...

My girlfriend got angry at me while I played poker for a couple of hours. She was out all day with her ex-boyfriend beforehand.

"So looking at the guys I've dated I feel my vag is a halfway house."

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing.

Today, being a music student, a professional orchestra performed a symphony that I wrote and dedicated to my girlfriend. It took months to compose and it the first and only time it was ever going to be played. My girlfriend forgot to come.

"You look like a sausage in jean shorts. You should have woken up earlier so I could approve your outfit."

Last night, on the way to a concert, she talked about how much she loved Nickelback and got mad when I laughed and asked her why.

My girlfriend argued with my mother that dogs weigh more when they are asleep.

I got to my apartment early after being out really late the night before. Maybe next time I should call ahead of time so that my roommate has time to sneak my girlfriend out of his bedroom.

I told my wife to block the mail of her ex (because he was sending her romantic mails) or I would leave. She told me that I could leave.

Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - nerdy guy with bad haircut."

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years hacked my mail, sent a mail to her address, breaking up with "herself" and making me look like a douche. Now I won't get the internship at her father's firm because she wrote "I hate you and your family, we are through." I dropped out of college for that internship.

I just don't understand where asians come from...

A month later, I find out my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter.

Loudly yelling in an NYC metro station: "The confederate flag is about more than racism! It's about state's rights, dammit!"

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me.

During the breakup talk, she crazily screamed at the top of her lungs, "You're the kind of bastard that turns women into lesbians!"

I went through with my elaborate plans to propose to my girlfriend with creativity. I took her skydiving and proposed in midair. She rejected. Why? She wanted a more "traditional" proposal.

"I always wanted to get my boating license. Its so cool how boats move in waves per minute"

"I realized today that the last three people to see my intimate parts these last weeks were my beautician, my doctor and the lady who did my check up ultra sound." Oh, and we're married!