The Shit Your GF Says or Does
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They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.

#83
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She's A Keeper! (9) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Work - by Adam (man)

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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.

#88
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Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Drunk - by Rudy (man)

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I saw this online and thought of you!

#91
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She's A Keeper! (36) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 03:45 AM - Sports - by Mark (man)

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"I just bought condoms at Big Lots. Please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months."

#95
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She's A Keeper! (28) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 30, 2011 05:12 AM - Sex - by Jordan (man)

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My GF: Stop treating me like a child.
Her Dad: You sprouting any hairs down there yet?

#99
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Jan 30, 2011 05:36 AM - School - by Marlen (man)

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Did you tell your mom to text me "I love you"?

#67
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Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Love - by Peter (man)

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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks.

#75
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Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Harold (man)

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"I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good."

#79
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Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Jack (man)

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I was walking my dog when a purse snatcher ran past me and stole the poop bag.

#207
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Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Misc - by Idiots (man)

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I saw two teenagers stopped at a green light at a major road, honking at and flipping off an old man crossing slowly. As a result, the old man dropped his pants and mooned the youngsters. Classic!

#209
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Aug 10, 2011 08:43 AM - Sex - by Moonies (man)

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Did you ever realize the word 'dome' says 'do me'?

#86
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She's A Keeper! (31) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

Jan 30, 2011 03:17 AM - Misc - by Clay (man)

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In hind sight, maybe you telling the registration nurse she was a "sexy little hooker" wasn't the best way to get you in back to get your stitches any quicker.

#90
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Jan 30, 2011 03:28 AM - Health - by Chris (man)

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"Reminds me of last night. Do you remember? It looks so dirty when I see others doing it. lol"

#93
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Jan 30, 2011 05:11 AM - Sex - by Phil (man)

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Sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. Ever. I don't care how drunk you are."

#77
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She's A Keeper! (25) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Drunk - by Chris (man)

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"I found a chair on the side of the street that looks lonely. Can I bring it home?"

#1565
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She's A Keeper! (6) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

Sep 22, 2015 11:19 PM - Misc - by LonelyChair (man)

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Today, I was at school and saw a girl that was deaf wearing a shirt saying, "La la la, I can't hear you! Lol...

#98
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She's A Keeper! (53) - Dump Her Ass! (0)

Jan 30, 2011 05:36 AM - School - by Marcus (man)

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