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I don't get it. It may be this hangover, but I just don't get it.

#64
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She's A Keeper! (7) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

Jan 30, 2011 02:30 AM - Drunk - by Andrew (man)

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On how she was going to convince her boss to give her a raise: "Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth."

#65
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She's A Keeper! (6) - Dump Her Ass! (36)

Jan 30, 2011 02:30 AM - Work - by Sean (man)

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99 Problems but a bitch ain’t one, you got 100 problems and a bitch is one.

#68
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Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Love - by Jayzow (man)

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Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults. Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is my way of breaking up with you.

#71
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She's A Keeper! (6) - Dump Her Ass! (30)

Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Kids - by Danny (man)

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Part 1:
According to one of my friends,
I went to the swimming pool last night ... After the pool, I checked my mobile in the locker room and I had 4 missed calls and 6 text messages from my GF:
SMS1: Honey, why don't you answer my calls???
SMS2: It seems you're busy even for texting!!!
.
.
.

#217
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Sep 10, 2011 04:58 PM - Love - by MR. Garcia (man)

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Part 02:
SMS3: You have to call right now or you will pay for it!!!
SMS4: Son of a B**ch, where the hell are you???

#216
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She's A Keeper! (4) - Dump Her Ass! (38)

Sep 10, 2011 04:57 PM - Love - by MR. Garcia (man)

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Part 03 (Last):
SMS5: It's all my fault , I thought you were human but I was wrong!!! You piece of shit and your fat f**king mother. Go to hell with your ... cousin (girl)!!!
SMS6: Ow I forgot to say, Me and your friend "Saeed" have had a relationship for 2 months...Bye F**KER!!!

#215
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Sep 10, 2011 04:56 PM - Love - by Mr. Garcia (man)

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Me: Check out the new Yelawolf video
GF: Whuuuut? I didnt know he was white?
Me: Whatchu mean you didnt know he was white?!
GF: I thought he was Yellow

#282
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She's A Keeper! (4) - Dump Her Ass! (14)

Mar 26, 2012 05:51 AM - Misc - by iamknoware (man)

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There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says "I suck bad dick". What do you think?

#78
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She's A Keeper! (4) - Dump Her Ass! (18)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Sex - by Kanye (man)

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My girlfriend was asking me what I say when playing video games with my friends. She says, "What do you say, like, 'Suck it! Fuck my dick!'?" God, I love her.

#345
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Nov 27, 2012 06:18 AM - Misc - by bananazack (man)

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After talking to her ex-bf: "Great, now I have hepatitis, gross.

#63
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She's A Keeper! (3) - Dump Her Ass! (47)

Jan 30, 2011 02:30 AM - Sex - by Mike (man)

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Took her to the movies, and came back to my car to find out my battery had died.. got it jumped and came back to her place, and as i lean in for a kiss, she backs away and says "pssh im not kissing you, your car broke down" and walks into her house. Damn.

#66
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Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Breakups - by Carlos (man)

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"I think of you as a brother...WTF?"

#72
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She's A Keeper! (2) - Dump Her Ass! (44)

Jan 30, 2011 02:37 AM - Love - by Brian (man)

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I have a deviated septum. Can I snort things?

#80
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She's A Keeper! (1) - Dump Her Ass! (15)

Jan 30, 2011 02:59 AM - Misc - by Ryan (man)

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My bed would like to meet you...no, not you...the other guy who isn't a douchebag of a boyfriend.

#69
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She's A Keeper! (0) - Dump Her Ass! (26)

Jan 30, 2011 02:36 AM - Love - by Austin (man)

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I know this is gonna sound weird, but my boobs tell me to break up with you - then get implants and shut them the fuck up!

#74
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She's A Keeper! (0) - Dump Her Ass! (30)

Jan 30, 2011 02:37 AM - Sex - by Jamie (man)

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