The Shit Your GF Says or Does
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Category: Drunk

so is it wrong that i just want to fuck u....i dont mind sharing

#735 (0) - May 17, 2010 07:30 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (88) - Dump Her Ass! (8)

Dinner was so good... I have heartburn out my ass.

#707 (0) - Apr 6, 2010 09:11 PM by Rob - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (44) - Dump Her Ass! (59)

I drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got my phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.

#680 (0) - Mar 4, 2010 12:05 AM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (116) - Dump Her Ass! (6)

Now that the olympics are over, you have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.

#678 (0) - Mar 4, 2010 12:02 AM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (44) - Dump Her Ass! (54)

I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.

#677 (0) - Mar 4, 2010 12:01 AM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (94) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

"It's okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen." - No, babe, if the guy remembers it, you're gonna get broken up with.

#675 (0) - Mar 3, 2010 11:58 PM by - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (5) - Dump Her Ass! (93)

"Just found out that the CEO of Jack In The Box is a lady named Linda. Needless to say I feel deceived."

#613 (0) - Feb 1, 2010 10:18 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (89) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

I blacked out, met a girl at a bar, brought her back to my friends dorm, fucked her all night, and while continuing in the shower, she says "my boyfriend is going to be soooooooo pissed"

#611 (0) - Feb 1, 2010 05:42 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (41) - Dump Her Ass! (65)

I took my new boyfriend out to meet my friends. My ex bf turned up and was buying drinks for everyone. Now my ex bf and my current bf are going on a man date tomorrow. wtf?

#601 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 03:03 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (55) - Dump Her Ass! (7)

You kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it.

#599 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 03:01 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (39) - Dump Her Ass! (14)

I just woke up and there were several one dollar bills in my undies and there's an unconscious asian man on the floor. What the fuck did we do last night?

#589 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 02:39 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (74) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

Is it sad that instead of goodmorning texts I now receive "sorry I didn't last that long" texts? I'm like thanks for reminding me asshole.

#581 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 02:04 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (10) - Dump Her Ass! (30)

"I guess i called my mom last night. She wasn't nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as I was. Love you."

#533 (0) - Jan 17, 2010 04:22 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (63) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

What day is it and did you see me today? - after a night out drinking

#527 (0) - Jan 17, 2010 04:17 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (29) - Dump Her Ass! (13)

"You were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures"

#524 (0) - Jan 17, 2010 04:14 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (48) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

"We are going drinking this weekend, damn it. I saved my Weight Watchers food points for alcohol."

#495 (0) - Jan 7, 2010 06:48 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (48) - Dump Her Ass! (18)

You were so drunk last night you thought you forced the automatic door open. You called yourself the Juggernaut, and hummed the X Men theme song.

#469 (1) - Jan 1, 2010 08:29 PM by xmen4 - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (82) - Dump Her Ass! (4)

Ok, before you get here, this girl thinks I'm someone she knows named Jen and she's giving me free tequila so DONT F*** IT UP.

#467 (0) - Jan 1, 2010 08:25 PM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (119) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

She woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "I regret it already".

#444 (0) - Dec 25, 2009 04:57 PM by onenightstander - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (17) - Dump Her Ass! (62)

You were so trashed that you deleted all of your Christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"

#429 (0) - Dec 22, 2009 10:38 AM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (69) - Dump Her Ass! (12)

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