Discussing a Sean Hayes song: "He made semen stained covers sound like a place I want to be."

"Im the only girl I know who can drive on the high way going 65 mph and jerk you off simultaneously. And did I mention putting my car in park at a red light to suck your dick?" lmao she's awsome.

my girl always randomly surprises me by getting naked. i'll be busy with something and all of a sudden...EPIC TITS AND ASS. i don't know...should i keep her?

After sex my GF turns over still playing with my penis and says "Wow, he kinda looks like Squidward."

Got a text from her saying "I love being goofy with your penis :) and making u laugh" after she gave me head and was talking with my dick in her mouth! LOL!

Her, "This sucks, we can't have sex for a week." Me, "why not?" Her, "because I'm going to get my period." Me, "you got a butthole don't you?" Her, "true." I love her so much :)

Me and my girl were having beast mode sex in our apartment..the land lord comes in saying we're too loud. My girl busts out "Sorry, care to join us?"...Our landlord is a 24 yeah old brunette who's hot...SCORE!

Her: So when they circumcised you, what did they do with the foreskin? Me: uh...they throw it away? Her: Oh so they don't save it? I always wondered about that.

She says she hasn't been with a guy in 4 years. Just her girlfriends......score?

I was used to a frigid gf who only wanted sex once every 2 months or so. My new gf wants it every night. I asked her if it's ever "No" with her and she said "No!" FTW!

"why won't you have sex with me?"

"Im a nymph i need sex my little vibrator gets me off but its not like a legit substitute.. I dont pms but i get BITCHY without sex!"

After having the most shit day ever i got back to my apartment and my girlfriend was waiting for me and said "clothes off now" when i walked in the room along with dinner, porn waiting on the Blue Ray, and sexy new lingerie that she soon striped off to Guns n Roses...i was speachless :)

"im uber horney"

Last night after sex she yells "I love being naked! wooo!" while running around my apartment.

"Sorry I'm late. I had Clare on the phone, whining because Jeff wants to fuck her ass. She was expecting sympathy. I told her a girl should let her bloke do it every night if he wants, that she was letting womankind down, and that the suffragettes didn't die so that she could turn down an ass-poke."

my girl told me i can have the three b's every saturday morning. BREAKFAST, BEER, AND A BLOWJOB!!!

"Don't think things now. I just don't feel the need to wear pants when i'm in my room with the doors locked. loll." WIN.

Same girl. Loading her luggage into the car, I commented I was surprised she only had hand luggage. "It wasn't easy to get everything in. I hadn't got room for any underwear in my bag, what with bringing my make-up, some chocolate and my butt plug."

I was working overseas for work, and after 3 weeks, my girlfriend flew out to join me for a long weekend. Walking over the concourse, she said, in a fairly loud voice "I'm glad we have this time together. My fingers are aching from having to finger my own pussy."