The Shit Your GF Says or Does
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Category: love

Her: "Why aren't you talking to me?" Me: "I'm with my bros." Her: "But you're supposed to be with me."

#755 (0) - Jun 21, 2010 01:22 AM by Anonymous - Love - She's A Keeper! (16) - Dump Her Ass! (66)

So my girlfriend called me and said she was thinking about me and she squirted so hard that she soaked her dog that was on the end of the bed.

#752 (0) - Jun 10, 2010 01:41 PM by Jk090 - Love - She's A Keeper! (75) - Dump Her Ass! (9)

after months of trying to convince my gf of having a threesome she agreed...she said she wud only do it if she cud pick the person...who was it only her fucking hot mom....WIN!

#727 (0) - May 1, 2010 04:02 PM by sweetnsour - Love - She's A Keeper! (90) - Dump Her Ass! (81)

My gf on licking my ass three months after we started dating.....me: omg that was the best orgasm iv ever had how did you know i liked that? GF: well i was licking ur balls and i was goin lower and u were gettin louder so i figured. i love her lol

#717 (0) - Apr 14, 2010 01:07 AM by chaosmansleek - Love - She's A Keeper! (136) - Dump Her Ass! (8)

When i asked my girl if i could cum in her mouth she replied "Mmmm protein!!"

#713 (0) - Apr 12, 2010 11:01 AM by jj - Love - She's A Keeper! (144) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

She sends me a text saying, "I just came across the word expendable in something I'm reading...thought of you... =] "

#692 (0) - Mar 14, 2010 07:45 PM by Ephlids - Love - She's A Keeper! (21) - Dump Her Ass! (114)

I got picked up for driving with a suspended license(long story). She walked to the County Jail and bailed me out and gave no complaints.

#682 (0) - Mar 5, 2010 04:23 PM by Mr_Malcontent - Love - She's A Keeper! (161) - Dump Her Ass! (13)

"Have u seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself"

#576 (0) - Jan 30, 2010 01:55 PM by eharmonysucks - Love - She's A Keeper! (37) - Dump Her Ass! (0)

She asked if the blue lines on the football game were a part of the football field during the chargers game

#549 (0) - Jan 18, 2010 06:15 PM by Faisal - Love - She's A Keeper! (21) - Dump Her Ass! (20)

When I asked if she knew what she wanted to do for Valentines Day, she said, "Sure. I want to either go to a pub, or a brewery, or Orfila Winery. I don't want to go out to a fancy, ridiculously over priced because it's valentines day, dinner. I'd rather just get drunk with the man I love!" Jealous?

#505 (0) - Jan 12, 2010 05:38 PM by JakeTheRipper - Love - She's A Keeper! (116) - Dump Her Ass! (7)

"Plans for today: I give you head, then we fuck, & we play Modern Warfare 2. Sound like a deal?"

#485 (0) - Jan 6, 2010 10:29 PM by Scott - Love - She's A Keeper! (149) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

"Found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner."

#470 (0) - Jan 1, 2010 08:30 PM by - Love - She's A Keeper! (55) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

"If I'm not the first person you notice at a party next time, I'm just gonna go up to you, pull your pants down and blow you."

#427 (0) - Dec 22, 2009 10:36 AM by Anonymous - Love - She's A Keeper! (120) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

I get home from class today, jumped in the shower. In the shower, my gf comes home and I hear her talking and I yell "who is that?". She yells back "your present". I get out of the shower: its her smokin ass friend and her in bra and thongs...she forgot my birthday last week and decided to make it up!!!

#374 (0) - Dec 11, 2009 08:48 PM by AJ - Love - She's A Keeper! (150) - Dump Her Ass! (13)

"I now realize why Trojan is a brand of condoms. Cause just like the Trojan horse, they send it in as a gift. It brings people joy, then it cracks open and dozens of little warriors hop out and spoil the fun..."

#343 (0) - Dec 8, 2009 01:30 AM by Anonymous - Love - She's A Keeper! (121) - Dump Her Ass! (13)

"Let's get married."

#245 (0) - Nov 21, 2009 05:09 PM by jaylo - Love - She's A Keeper! (51) - Dump Her Ass! (150)

Today, my wife yelled at me during an argument. "You should try thinking about anybody else for a change!" I switched to a graveyard shift two years ago to keep our daughter out of daycare.

#219 (0) - Nov 19, 2009 07:37 AM by Graves - Love - She's A Keeper! (9) - Dump Her Ass! (135)

"I hate the way you cut your daughter's sandwiches diagonally, the two halves aren't the same." F***.

#184 (0) - Nov 18, 2009 07:07 AM by Anonymous - Love - She's A Keeper! (14) - Dump Her Ass! (133)

My girlfriend woke up early, went out and bought beer, and encouraged me to drink it all day while she went to work, "So that you won't be bored while I'm gone"

#174 (0) - Nov 17, 2009 10:21 PM by anony mouse - Love - She's A Keeper! (294) - Dump Her Ass! (9)

"Just because I love you doesn't mean I won't punch you in the face."

#171 (0) - Nov 17, 2009 09:34 PM by Anonymous - Love - She's A Keeper! (417) - Dump Her Ass! (26)

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