The Shit Your GF Says or Does
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I got picked up for driving with a suspended license(long story). She walked to the County Jail and bailed me out and gave no complaints.

#682 (0) - Mar 5, 2010 04:23 PM by Mr_Malcontent - Love - She's A Keeper! (28) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

I drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got my phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.

#680 (0) - Mar 4, 2010 12:05 AM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (16) - Dump Her Ass! (0)

"I could hear your roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...let's see him ever get any ass."

#679 (0) - Mar 4, 2010 12:03 AM by Anonymous - Intimacy - She's A Keeper! (17) - Dump Her Ass! (0)

Now that the olympics are over, you have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.

#678 (0) - Mar 4, 2010 12:02 AM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (15) - Dump Her Ass! (10)

I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.

#677 (0) - Mar 4, 2010 12:01 AM by Anonymous - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (20) - Dump Her Ass! (0)

I want a magic potion that will make him fall in love with me. I also want a clockstopper's watch and a pimp cane that is filled with an endless amount of weed.

#676 (0) - Mar 4, 2010 12:01 AM by Anonymous - Misc - She's A Keeper! (17) - Dump Her Ass! (5)

"It's okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen." - No, babe, if the guy remembers it, you're gonna get broken up with.

#675 (0) - Mar 3, 2010 11:58 PM by - Drunk - She's A Keeper! (1) - Dump Her Ass! (13)

Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".

#674 (0) - Mar 3, 2010 11:56 PM by nymph - Intimacy - She's A Keeper! (22) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

While watching Apocalypse Now, Cpt. Willard starts talking about the Viet Cong and my girlfriend asks me "Who's Charlie? "

#672 (0) - Mar 2, 2010 12:57 PM by Mike - Misc - She's A Keeper! (5) - Dump Her Ass! (7)

You're reading about stars that might support intelligent life? You mean like Mars?

#670 (0) - Feb 26, 2010 05:24 PM by Rob - Misc - She's A Keeper! (5) - Dump Her Ass! (20)

My girlfriend and I were playing making up words with license plates of other cars, when we stopped at a red light there was a car infront of us with the license plate DCK679 she said "Oh i got one..but I dont wanna say it.." And I said DUCK? and she said "Ohh...yeah" Someone wasn't thinking of duck

#663 (0) - Feb 23, 2010 01:51 PM by Anonymous - Dating - She's A Keeper! (17) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

(Over a phone call). (Her): Babe what's a lune attic? (Me): Spell it. (Her): L-u-n-a-t-i-c. (Me): That would be a lunatic dear, something you are. (Her): O, you're so smart babe....... sigh

#660 (0) - Feb 20, 2010 11:27 PM by Roon - Misc - She's A Keeper! (11) - Dump Her Ass! (25)

"Just screw me now. I have been around to much estrogen today and i need the testorone in my life."

#654 (0) - Feb 17, 2010 06:00 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - She's A Keeper! (64) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

My girlfriend and I were fooling around, and I wanted her to talk dirty, so she said very awkwardly "Oh yeah, I like that on my..... breasts." Needless to say we had to stop and laugh then try to continue.

#652 (0) - Feb 16, 2010 11:44 AM by Anonymous - Intimacy - She's A Keeper! (27) - Dump Her Ass! (3)

"You're like the Vagina Whisper"

#650 (0) - Feb 16, 2010 08:46 AM by Anonymous - Intimacy - She's A Keeper! (36) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

"But she's so pretty for a deaf girl"

#648 (0) - Feb 15, 2010 11:22 PM by -E- - Misc - She's A Keeper! (19) - Dump Her Ass! (13)

"She called me a whore because I like anal. I told her. I said she ought to try it before she called people names. I was so annoyed I even offered your cock to help her out. She didn't exactly say no. Still, if she borrows it, who would be the whore?"

#641 (0) - Feb 11, 2010 02:43 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - She's A Keeper! (59) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

I used to love "Charles in Charge". But I never understood what he was in charge of...

#639 (0) - Feb 10, 2010 09:30 AM by Rob - Misc - She's A Keeper! (6) - Dump Her Ass! (25)

"She thinks that hooking up in the theater bathroom is bad? How about in the theater.. during Shrek 3. HaHa"

#635 (0) - Feb 7, 2010 10:42 PM by Anonymous - Intimacy - She's A Keeper! (27) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

While watching a show about ugly dogs, my gf says, "Those dogs are gross! They literally look like walking vaginas."

#634 (0) - Feb 7, 2010 07:40 PM by Anonymous - Misc - She's A Keeper! (25) - Dump Her Ass! (7)

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