The Shit Your GF Says or Does
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Category: Sex

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While Skyping:
Me: What are you doing?
GF: Looking at cute aprons and matching lace thongs for when I cook dinner for you naked. Red or hot pink?

#297
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She's A Keeper! (53) - Dump Her Ass! (12)

Sep 5, 2012 04:43 AM - Sex - by Darren (man)

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Her: Baby can we make sex tonight...
Me: OK honey let me go to the store to get some condoms.
Her: Noooooooooooooo!

#283
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Mar 26, 2012 09:21 PM - Sex - by Anonymous (man)

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After thirty minutes of sex my GF says: "Ya know, if it gets too wet there, you can always put it in my butt!"

#274
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Dec 28, 2011 07:03 PM - Sex - by Mannzutier (woman)

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After having sex, I finished in her mouth, and she looks up at me, a big smile comes across her face and she excitedly says "It tastes like Devon" .

#228
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Sep 25, 2011 09:15 PM - Sex - by devon-guy (man)

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On a foreigner we know who is traveling through Australia: “She is gonna back up on so much random dick it's incredible.”

#226
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Sep 22, 2011 06:54 PM - Sex - by Chrisline (man)

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“You just fisted my kidney!!!”

#220
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Sep 22, 2011 06:48 PM - Sex - by Marlon (man)

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My girlfriend and I went to a Renaissance Fair, and she talked me into wearing a kilt. While we were browsing a shop, some old woman asked what I was wearing underneath it. Without missing a beat, my girlfriend replied “My lipstick.” The old woman turned bright red.

#213
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Aug 10, 2011 03:43 AM - Sex - by lmao234 (man)

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I saw two teenagers stopped at a green light at a major road, honking at and flipping off an old man crossing slowly. As a result, the old man dropped his pants and mooned the youngsters. Classic!

#209
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Aug 10, 2011 03:43 AM - Sex - by Moonies (man)

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Just realized "strap-on" spelled backwards is "no-parts".

#208
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Aug 10, 2011 03:43 AM - Sex - by Jimms (man)

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We were driving home from a weekend trip and my girl sucked me off and I came in her mouth (she never takes it in her mouth). So we are at my house the day after and I cum on her tits but got a little near her mouth. She said "just cause I spoil you one time you think you can just do what you want"

#106
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Feb 15, 2011 09:42 PM - Sex - by g6landed (man)

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My girl and I were having sex, and she decided to finish me in her mouth. As I was about to finish blowing my load, she took her mouth off and the last bit of jizz landed on my stomach. She swallowed what was in her mouth and said, "Oh god, I'm sorry. I couldn't take anymore, my mouth was full."

#104
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Feb 9, 2011 02:56 AM - Sex - by Matador (man)

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"We had sex in the bathroom. Then you told me I could watch you pee."

#96
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Jan 29, 2011 11:32 PM - Sex - by Mikey (man)

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"I just bought condoms at Big Lots. Please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months."

#95
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Jan 29, 2011 11:12 PM - Sex - by Jordan (man)

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Found our roommate masturbating to Justin Bieber. I mean, really?

#94
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Jan 29, 2011 11:12 PM - Sex - by James (man)

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"Reminds me of last night. Do you remember? It looks so dirty when I see others doing it. lol"

#93
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Jan 29, 2011 11:11 PM - Sex - by Phil (man)

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There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says "I suck bad dick". What do you think?

#78
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Sex - by Kanye (man)

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I know this is gonna sound weird, but my boobs tell me to break up with you - then get implants and shut them the fuck up!

#74
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Jan 29, 2011 08:37 PM - Sex - by Jamie (man)

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After talking to her ex-bf: "Great, now I have hepatitis, gross.

#63
2 Comments

She's A Keeper! (3) - Dump Her Ass! (47)

Jan 29, 2011 08:30 PM - Sex - by Mike (man)

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