Student last period of the school day:"Miss, is this Europe?" Me-"No, the map is titled 'Europe After WWII' because it is actually South America, and I'm trying to fool you".

Today was the first day of rush. Talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.

2nd period- student trying to run away with 50 yr old bf. 4th period- student chokes peer. 5th period- studentS fight each other. They're such angels:)

Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?

My date argued with me that places put rice in salt shakers to keep the bugs out of the salt. She had no answer when I asked her what bugs live in salt, but she knew more about this than me because she was a waitress.

Another one from the Special Ed Teacher: "Retards will do anything for a piece of candy."

She is a Special Education teacher, and she told me some great stories about her students. Sometimes when she gets frustrated with them she'll start moaning and walking around all weird and say, "I'm not Miss Cochran anymore, I'M A MUMMY!," then they all freak out and run around the room screaming.

My girl and I work together. We had a meeting today with my boss and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics. She tried to say "erratic election". Almost succeeded. Everyone looked at me and I blushed.

When asked if she watered the lawn today (I had just planted new grass seed), she responded "No, I didn't know how." in complete seriousness.

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard.