The Shit Your GF Says or Does
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"We had sex in the bathroom. Then you told me I could watch you pee."

#96
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She's A Keeper! (40) - Dump Her Ass! (6)

Jan 29, 2011 11:32 PM - Sex - by Mikey (man)

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"I just bought condoms at Big Lots. Please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months."

#95
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Jan 29, 2011 11:12 PM - Sex - by Jordan (man)

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Found our roommate masturbating to Justin Bieber. I mean, really?

#94
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Jan 29, 2011 11:12 PM - Sex - by James (man)

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"Reminds me of last night. Do you remember? It looks so dirty when I see others doing it. lol"

#93
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Jan 29, 2011 11:11 PM - Sex - by Phil (man)

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She sends me this picture and says: "Treat me right, or else..."

#92
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Jan 29, 2011 09:45 PM - Love - by Brandon (man)

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I saw this online and thought of you!

#91
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Jan 29, 2011 09:45 PM - Sports - by Mark (man)

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In hind sight, maybe you telling the registration nurse she was a "sexy little hooker" wasn't the best way to get you in back to get your stitches any quicker.

#90
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Jan 29, 2011 09:28 PM - Health - by Chris (man)

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A good way to prevent cheating in the US.

#89
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Jan 29, 2011 09:23 PM - School - by WTF (man)

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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.

#88
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Jan 29, 2011 09:17 PM - Drunk - by Rudy (man)

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"He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well."

#87
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Jan 29, 2011 09:17 PM - Drunk - by Rodrigo (man)

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Did you ever realize the word 'dome' says 'do me'?

#86
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Jan 29, 2011 09:17 PM - Misc - by Clay (man)

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My GF: Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
Me: I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.

#85
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Jan 29, 2011 09:17 PM - Drunk - by Jeff (man)

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There is a cigarette burn in the front of my thong...I'm scared to know what happened last night.

#84
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Jan 29, 2011 09:17 PM - Drunk - by Brady (man)

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They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.

#83
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Work - by Adam (man)

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"My dad told me my only assignment from now till graduation is to not die."

#82
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Health - by Shawn (man)

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I'm watching "I Used To Be Fat". I've been doing crunches for the last half hour, yelling at the slut on TV to stop crying and do crunches."

#81
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Health - by John (man)

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I have a deviated septum. Can I snort things?

#80
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Misc - by Ryan (man)

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"I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good."

#79
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She's A Keeper! (33) - Dump Her Ass! (2)

Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Drunk - by Jack (man)

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There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says "I suck bad dick". What do you think?

#78
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Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Sex - by Kanye (man)

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Sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. Ever. I don't care how drunk you are."

#77
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She's A Keeper! (25) - Dump Her Ass! (1)

Jan 29, 2011 08:59 PM - Drunk - by Chris (man)

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