I was used to a frigid gf who only wanted sex once every 2 months or so. My new gf wants it every night. I asked her if it's ever "No" with her and she said "No!" FTW!

Having a nerdy night with her and friends watching the first Pokemon movie, she announces Brocks Onix looks stoned.

so is it wrong that i just want to fuck u....i dont mind sharing

"why won't you have sex with me?"

"Im a nymph i need sex my little vibrator gets me off but its not like a legit substitute.. I dont pms but i get BITCHY without sex!"

After having the most shit day ever i got back to my apartment and my girlfriend was waiting for me and said "clothes off now" when i walked in the room along with dinner, porn waiting on the Blue Ray, and sexy new lingerie that she soon striped off to Guns n Roses...i was speachless :)

Late at night the first time we hooked up, she smiled and looked up at me and said "I like cum!" what do you think, should I keep her?

after months of trying to convince my gf of having a threesome she agreed...she said she wud only do it if she cud pick the person...who was it only her fucking hot mom....WIN!

"im uber horney"

We were having a fight about something stupid. When she was leaving, before she slammed the door. "And I hate that shitty Ska music you listen to." I ended it there.

She was complaining about her gyno appointment asked if guys go to the urologist yearly like girls go to the gyno. So I said "yeah, but the best part is when the nurse jerks you off to get a semen sample." and she believed me and got mad saying how she didn't want a strange nurse giving me a handjob

Last night after sex she yells "I love being naked! wooo!" while running around my apartment.

I started seeing this girl. And right before sleeping with her, She said: "Um... I've let all the guys I sleep with cum in my mouth."

I told my gf about how I was at a store and got 5 cents cash back just to be a dick to the cashier and she replied, "Why would people not want cash back? I mean your getting free money. Wait, what is cash back?"

My gf on licking my ass three months after we started dating.....me: omg that was the best orgasm iv ever had how did you know i liked that? GF: well i was licking ur balls and i was goin lower and u were gettin louder so i figured. i love her lol

Roommate's girlfriend... "I knew Vietnam was a war, but I didn't realize it was a country also!"

After a few minutes of intensive thought, my gf came out with "I wonder why they don't make cum-flavored products. I mean, with all those single women, there has to be a market for cum-flavored yoghurt."

"Sorry I'm late. I had Clare on the phone, whining because Jeff wants to fuck her ass. She was expecting sympathy. I told her a girl should let her bloke do it every night if he wants, that she was letting womankind down, and that the suffragettes didn't die so that she could turn down an ass-poke."

When i asked my girl if i could cum in her mouth she replied "Mmmm protein!!"

"it's mashmaro not hamtaro you dyslexic fuck!!!!"